I used to think my shoulders were the problem.
Every time I tried on a top, I'd turn sideways, look in the mirror, and think: too broad. I'd pull my hair forward to cover them. I'd size up so the fabric wouldn't pull across my back. I owned six cardigans that I never buttoned because buttoning made me look like a linebacker.
Turns out, my shoulders are fine.
The neckline was lying to me.
Here's what I learned after two years of trying things on, sending them back, and crying in dressing rooms.
Scoop necks are your safest bet.
Not deep, not wide — just a gentle curve. Think a scoop of ice cream, not a bowl.
A medium scoop breaks up the horizontal line of your shoulders. It shows a little collarbone, pulls the eye inward, and doesn't add width. I have three scoop-neck tops from Old Navy that cost me $12 each. I wear them constantly.
Too shallow — like a crew neck — makes your shoulders look like a straight line across. Too deep — like a plunge — can be fine, but you have to deal with bra situations. I don't have energy for bra situations.
Avoid boat necks if you have broad shoulders.
I bought a boat neck sweater from Universal Standard because everyone online loved it. Put it on. Looked like a football player in knitwear.
Boat necks go straight across from shoulder to shoulder. They add visual width. If your shoulders are already wider than your hips, a boat neck says: look how wide I am.
I returned it. Learned my lesson.
V-necks work, but not too deep.
A shallow V — one that hits right below your collarbone — is great. It creates a vertical line that pulls the eye down, not across. I wear V-neck tank tops under cardigans all spring.
A deep V — like down to your sternum — is different. It can work if the rest of the top is loose. But if it's tight? Suddenly all anyone sees is chest and shoulders. Not bad, just not what I'm going for on a Tuesday.
Square necklines surprised me.
I thought square would make me look wider. But a square neck with wide straps actually does something nice. The corners of the square sit on your shoulders like little anchors. It feels structured without being tight.
I have a square-neck dress from Eloquii that I wore to a wedding. My shoulders looked fine. I didn't think about them once.
That's the test. If you're thinking about your shoulders while you're wearing it, the neckline is wrong.
Turtlenecks are complicated.
I want to love turtlenecks. They feel cozy and chic. But on me, a thick turtleneck makes my shoulders look massive. It's just fabric all the way up — no skin, no break, no visual pause.
A thin, fold-over turtleneck is better. Or a mock neck that stops halfway. I have one mock neck sweater from Target that works. The rest? Donated.
One thing no one tells you:
Your bra straps matter. A neckline can be perfect, but if your bra straps are thick and digging in at the edge of your shoulder, it breaks the line. I switched to bras with narrower-set straps. Clear straps when I need them. Sometimes pasties.
Not because I'm fancy. Because I got tired of adjusting.
I still have tops in my closet that make me look wider than I am. I keep them for some reason — maybe hope, maybe guilt.
But most days, I reach for the scoop necks and the shallow Vs. I don't think about my shoulders anymore.
That's the goal. Not to look smaller. Just to stop thinking about it.